A Forgotten Rapture
by last place
Summary: The unexpected has happened; the beloved Kurama is murdered. His mysterious death destroys the lives of his friends, leaving each hollow. Their separate stories soon mold together, revealing how ugly, or sublime, grieving can be.
1. Prologue

**Each chapter is (for the most part) going to be from a different character's POV and how they're affected by the tragedy. Everyone deals with death in a different way, after all.**

**This is the prologue, so it's a bit short and mostly from Kurama's POV. **

**Rated T for strong language and violent images.  
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** Please review, let me know what you think, and enjoy!  
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"Alright, I'm a bit tipsy," Kurama admitted to the Spirit Detective, grinning shyly.

"Just tipsy?" Yusuke chuckled. "You chugged my entire bottle of vodka before I could even touch it, and you're just _tipsy_? Any normal human would be dead."

"Well, I'm not a normal human."

After a long week at work, Kurama craved time to spend with Yusuke. In fact, hanging out together had become their weekly ritual. Yusuke could complain about what a nag Keiko was and Kurama could finally relax. The past week flashed in Kurama's mind. He finally received the promotion he was climbing for and fired his lazy co-worker. It was a successful week, and what better way to celebrate than get drunk with Yusuke? Of course, for Kurama, getting drunk meant at least two liters of pure vodka.

"Very true," Yusuke smirked, as he Kurama's hair. As his hand shook the red-head's hair, the world tumbled around Kurama. "I'll be back in a few minutes. Just going to get more booze--I gotta get wasted too, y'know!"

With that, the Spirit Detective slipped into the deli, leaving Kurama outside by himself. Well, not really by himself. It was nearly two in the morning, but people were still wandering the streets. Tokyo's night life impressed Kurama more every day. Lights seemed to pop up from the ground, growing as the nights passed by.

A group of drunks rushed by Kurama, laughing amongst themselves. Secrets in the night whispered around Kurama as he stood in the middle of the sidewalk, inhaling deeply. Tokyo's air wasn't pure, but as it stung Kurama's nose, it reminded him he was _alive_. His entire body pulsed as the alcohol rushed through his veins. Still, Kurama embraced the city life around him. He shoved his hands in his pockets and threw his head back, smiling up at the starless sky. He wished every night could be like this.

It was a perfect moment, remaining loyal to his night.

Footsteps approached the red-head as Kurama closed his eyes. They were loud, fast paced--normal for the city. Then they stopped. Quite close to Kurama in fact. The drunk fox opened his eyes and squinted. He couldn't make out the figure, since he lay back in the shadows. Kurama shrugged it off. He sensed no danger, and this man certainly wasn't a demon. Besides, he wouldn't let his fears ruin his night. He turned away from the figure, glancing into the deli for Yusuke.

Suddenly, he heard a clicking sound. The familiarity of the noise was from movies. The alcohol spread through Kurama made the connection between the noise and what it meant too late. He stiffened and before he could even turn fully back to the man--

BANG.

Something pierced his rib cage. A grunt leaked from Kurama's throat as he felt his human body stumble backwards. He tried to grab something, but the ground welcomed him as he fell on his knees, clutching his rib. The impact shattered his bones and the cacophony rattled his ears.

BANG. BANG. BANG.

The gun bellowed as it spat bullets at Kurama. Every inch of the red-head singed as bullets tore through his skin. The seconds felt like weeks as Kurama watched each piece of lead fly towards him, piercing his body wherever they pleased. They struck his arm, his chest, his gut, his thigh, his shoulder, even his cheek.

Then, Kurama was falling. His human body succumbed to the pain that lashed through his body. One last shot--right in the back of his neck. The blow crushed every nerve in Kurama's body, and suddenly there was no more pain.

And all at once, the man disappeared.

Yusuke had made his way towards the door as soon as he heard the first shot. But, even as he'd dashed for the door, more were fired. One after the other…and then there was an eerie silence. The deli door flew open and Yusuke lay his eyes upon the horror.

Kurama's body was torn, blood pouring from every corner. It leaked onto the pavement, forming a small river running down the sidewalk. The boy was disheveled, like a rag doll tossed on the floor. Kurama's nice, white t-shirt was shredded across his back. The blood from his neck pulsed out with a piece of vertebrae protruding. The red-head's lifeless hair stuck to his bloody neck, practically a perfect match.

Yusuke collapsed in front of his friend, turning him onto his back slowly. Tears stained Kurama's pretty emerald eyes and soft cheeks. The Spirit Detective's hands trembled as he tried to cover up the worse wounds, but it was no use. He started to feed Kurama spirit energy as his hands engulfed the red-head's body.

"Oh God, Kurama!" Yusuke wailed. "Don't die on me!"

Kurama smiled weakly, trying to regain his energy. But it was draining fast--and so was his blood. His friend's warm spirit energy penetrated his body, and Kurama immediately welcomed it. But as the seconds wore on, the spirit energy no longer helped. Yusuke immediately sensed it too as Kurama watched horror seep into his expression.

"Yu-Yusuke," Kurama barely got his words out. The hole in his throat made them inaudible to human ears, but he hoped Yusuke heard. "I-I'm glad I met you."

It was too late for Kurama. He wanted to fight, but he couldn't even move his fingers. In fact, he didn't know if he had fingers left. Yusuke sobbed as Kurama was overwhelmed with acceptance.

His life flashed before his eyes, revealing every moment that brought him joy, pride and even sadness. He saw his beautiful human mother, and the members of Team Urameshi's smiling faces when they won the Dark Tournament. Visions from his past demon life appeared as he reminisced about the beauty of Makai behind a thief's eyes. Triumph overwhelmed him as he thought about the moment he killed Karasu, and fear when Karasu's masked face entered his mind. And then…Kurama saw Hiei's face. The fire demon's crimson eyes branded his memory, as well as his heart. Even though he hadn't seen his ex-lover in two years, Kurama wished every night Hiei would come back. Pain entered his soul as he thought about the fire demon's burning hatred towards him. And all at once, thoughts of the deceased crossed his mind and that he would see them soon; Genkai, his grandparents, and even Kuronue. Suddenly, his negative thoughts of Hiei slipped away and was overwhelmed with happiness.

It was okay to die…it happened to everyone, even demons. If only Kurama could smile to show Yusuke that everything was okay.

"Please," Yusuke begged. "Kurama."

He felt himself slipping away from his body. There was no sadness in his soul, only joy. Every second Kurama felt more at peace with his fate. He wasn't angry at the stranger or the Gods. But he wanted so bad to reach out and comfort Yusuke. It would be okay, his thoughts shouted triumphantly.

Ambulance's and cop cars rushed down the street, wailing as Yusuke watched his friend fall into darkness.

"Kurama…" Yusuke trembled as he brought the limp body against his chest in an embrace. The police jumped out of the cars, along with the medical responders, running to the two boys.

"Come on, son," an older man touched Yusuke's arm as he cradled his friend frantically. Yusuke shook his head as men tried to pull him apart from the red-head, but Yusuke refused to budge. The warm, sweet smell of blood penetrated his nose, stinging his senses, but he just dug his fingers tighter into the limp body.

"No," Yusuke moaned. "No, no. Fuck off, leave me alone." His words weren't incoherent, but he kept grieving, attempting to comfort himself with the sound of his own voice. It didn't help.

Kurama's body was so cold against Yusuke's…

Finally, he was pried apart from his dead friend. He couldn't watch as they tried to resuscitate him. It was no use, just false hope…Yusuke felt as if his world was falling apart, cracking onto the sidewalk he was kneeling on. The older police man tried to comfort the hysterical Spirit Detective, but he didn't even notice there were other people surrounding him and Kurama.

"Good-bye," Yusuke choked.


	2. Hiei's Lament

**I'm not a huge fan of this chapter, but it's quite necessary and I don't feel like re-writing it. xD  
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_The fire demon slept so peacefully. It was hard to believe such hate poured through his veins. I inched towards him, leaving some distance between us. His chest heaved up and down as I got closer. Every night I'd allowed myself to get closer to him, and every night he senses heightened. My soul belonged to him, now, no one else. I'd refused the ferry girl, explaining I'd rather stay in Makai and Ningenkai, watching over my loved ones. She told me it was illegal and her boss would have her head for it. But, I knew Koenma would understand. I didn't want the afterlife, not yet at least. There was so much left I had to figure out-and I had forever to do so._

_Hiei stirred in his sleep, muttering my name. His lips were parted, puckered as if ready for me to kiss them. I leaned close, shaking. I wished he would wake up and welcome me in his arms…_

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_**Hiei**

The trees illuminate Makai. The world is brighter, more fantastic, than it'd ever been before. Hiei steps onto the tallest tree's branch, admiring the view. Makai actually looks _beautiful_. His chest wells with thrill as the wind picked up speed, tousling through his hair. It pushes him, guiding him towards the edge of the branch. The fall below him stretches more. The trees below him were miles away. Yet, the wind continued to push him.

"Alright," Hiei mutters to the invisible hand. "I'll jump."

He balances himself on the branch. The wind rattles the wood. Hiei takes a deep breath and lets his body fall forward. The freedom tingles Hiei's veins, and he smirks. Why had he never done this before? The wind whistles in his ears as he picks up speed.

Suddenly, the invisible hand lifts him and Hiei hovers above the trees. He closes his eyes and twists his body, facing the sky above him. Complete bliss shudders under his skin. As he peels his eyes open, he nearly topples over. Two emerald eyes gaze back at him, serenity glowing in them.

"Ku-Kurama?" Hiei whispers. "What are you doing here?"

"You look beautiful," the fox smiles.

And so does Kurama. His red hair glistens, his eyes sparkling from the light of the trees. The two stare at each other, waiting for the other to speak. Hiei inhales deeply, breathing in Kurama's scent-the scent that had lurked in his dreams for years. He would never admit it to the fox, but he misses him.

The scenery around the two melts away, and Hiei finds himself sitting in a park bench next to Kurama. Kurama gazes up at the sky above him, a large smile appears on his face.

"It's beautiful here," he murmurs. "I would've never guessed the world in your head was."

"What do you mean?" Hiei asks.

His fingers shook as he inches towards Kurama. No matter how angry he was in the past, Kurama was sitting next to him. The tension rising in Hiei became a volcano, nearly erupting from his fingertips. He touches Kurama's hand with them. Kurama turns his head, locking eyes with Hiei.

"I'm sorry for everything that happened, Hiei. I never meant for it to get out of hand. I haven't stopped thinking about you, though. Every day was torture without you around." Kurama suddenly grips Hiei's shaking hand. "I love you, Hiei. You may be an arrogant jerk, but it's what makes you so perfect. I miss you."

Hiei leans close to Kurama, pressing his nose against the fox's cheek. Electricity shot down Hiei's spine as Kurama kisses the bandana across his forehead.

"I-I love you, too," his voice is shaky. Revealing his emotions isn't something Hiei was good at, but he needed to tell Kurama. After all, it'd been nearly two yeas and suppressing his feelings strained Hiei's conscious mind.

Kurama pulls his body away from Hiei. The fire demon narrows his eyes, annoyed that he had opened up. The stupid fox hasn't changed…as soon as Hiei shows a smidge of emotion, Kurama runs. He knew he shouldn't have said anything.

"Hn." Hiei growls.

"No," Kurama's smile is soft. He cups Hiei's chin in his long, flawless fingers. "Don't be angry. Don't let it run your life. Hiei, I love you and you should love you, too. I will always be with you. Good-bye."

"What do you mean goo-" Kurama suddenly presses his lips against Hiei's. They are cool, much colder than Hiei remembers. He reluctantly accepts the kiss, ignoring the overwhelming rapture. Before he let his need for Kurama overwhelm him, too, he yanks his body away from the fox. As he parts from Kurama, he notices how beautiful Kurama looks with his lips parted and his eyes closed. He yearns to kiss him again.

"Maybe I'll see you soon," Kurama finally mutters. "Forgive me."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm not too sure. Don't forget me, my love."

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Hiei snapped awake, his whole body wrenching upwards. Another taunting nightmare. They had become unbearable the past few days, lingering in his mind constantly. Kurama wasn't around anymore, and Hiei would _never_ go back to him, no matter how many dreams the fox appeared in. They were just dreams after all-silly, stupid dreams.

Yet…

Hiei shook his head, shrugging off any ideas. He didn't want to be with Kurama, let alone see him. The dreams were nightmares, reminding him over and over of his hatred for the fox. Forgiveness wasn't in Hiei's nature-although normally Kurama didn't apologize in the dreams.

In fact, there was something strange about the dream. Kurama had said good-bye and kissed Hiei. Even though his dreams the past few days had been powerfully haunting, Kurama hadn't kissed him, apologized, or said good-bye. Maybe this would be the last of his terrible nightmare, and the Kurama he fabricated in his mind knew that.

'Good riddance, fox,' Hiei hissed, wishing he could show Kurama how little he cared. The red-head meant nothing to Hiei, he was just a distant memory. His mind could play all the tricks it wanted, but Hiei would still never touch the fox again.

The wind hummed in Hiei's ear, reminding him of the invisible hand that guided him off the tree. Makai's wind wasn't nearly that strong, though. His dreams were foolish. Even if the wind beckoned him to jump off something, he wouldn't. And if he did meet Kurama again, he wouldn't touch him. Hiei felt anything but love towards the red-head.

His mind wandered from his dreams as he wondered if Mukuro was looking for him. He enjoyed his space; the woman could be a bit too _touchy_ for him. The only reason he put up with her shit was because if he wasn't with her-well, he'd be alone. Hiei craved personal space, but to be lonesome again…He couldn't handle it. After Kurama betrayed him, Hiei needed the comfort of another being. It fogged the pain that Kurama left. When he was with Mukuro, he could go a whole hour without thinking about the stupid fox. It kept him sane.

A familiar scent pierced his nose. Humans, two of them, close by. And not just any…

Hiei jumped from his branch, perching himself in front of Yusuke and Kuwabara. It'd been nearly two years since he'd seen Kuwabara. After the fox incident, Hiei couldn't stand Ningenkai. Yusuke had visited several times, since he was spent half his life in Makai, but apparently Kuwabara's hectic life prevented him from coming. It didn't matter much to Hiei, anyway-the baka agitated him.

"Hi," Kuwabara muttered.

Hiei examined the two. They weren't their normal, goofy selves, yelling obnoxiously or beaming from ear to ear. In fact, Hiei detected grief emanating from their ki's. He peered at Yusuke, who was staring intently at the floor. The Spirit Detective's eyes were puffy, red and hollow. He obviously hadn't been sleeping well, if he had gotten any at all. They had news for Hiei, and according to the Spirit Detecitve's hunched over stance and watery eyes, it wasn't good.

"What is it?" Hiei glanced from one to the other. Kuwabara cleared his throat, scratching his neck uncomfortably.

"We-well, you s-see-it happened a few days ago-five to be exact. We-we've been searching for you for a few days-and now we're here."

Hiei's eyes narrowed. What the Hell was the idiot trying to say?

"So, y-you see…" Kuwbara stumbled.

"Kurama's dead," Yusuke blurted out. The boy doubled over, falling onto his knees and sobbing into his awaiting hands. "He's _dead_, Hiei! I watched it-and I couldn't do anything! Someone _shot_ him. Who the fuck knew a few bullets could kill Kurama? Oh God, Hiei!"

Kuwabara knelt besides the hysterical Spirit Detective, patting his shoulder. His attempt for comfort failed as Yusuke continued to moan. The world around the three fell silent. Even the wind ceased to rustle through the trees, hushing to mourn.

The trees swirled around Hiei's vision, spinning until Hiei felt nauseous. As Yusuke wailed on, Hiei stepped away from the two humans. Kurama-dead? It'd been two years since he'd last lay eyes on the red-head. Two long, gruesome years. All the pain he endured, the emptiness-for what? To have the fox die?

If he'd known that Kurama would die…

Regret. It overran Hiei's life. He'd felt regret almost every second of his life. Regret for his thieving past, regret for keeping distance between him and Yukina, regret for spending almost every night with Mukuro…regret for his birth. His list continued forever, adding on more every moment. But when the words tumbled from Yusuke's mouth, his list meant nothing anymore. He despised his entire life, but when he was with Kurama, the world seemed a little less cruel. Even the knowledge that Kurama was safe slightly eased Hiei's pain.

But he wasn't safe, he was dead. Gone from the worlds, waiting in Hell until the rest of his friends came. And Hiei was left behind-although it didn't make much of a difference. They wouldn't have spoken if he was still alive. But at least if he were, there would always be the tiniest hope lurking in the deepest shadows of Hiei's heart. And now, there was no hope left.

"He's dead." Hiei murmured.

"I-I'm sorry," Kuwabara glanced up at Hiei, his own eyes shimmering with tears. "I know you haven't seen him in so long, but still…I'm s-sorry."

The idiot's babble antagonized Hiei. Apologizing wouldn't bring Kurama back or erase Hiei's regret. "He's dead," Hiei repeated again.

"Yeah," Kuwabara helped the huddled Yusuke up, letting him rest on his shoulder. Yusuke seemed to be calming down, but the same couldn't be said for Hiei.

"Fuck," Hiei suddenly snarled. "Who shot him? How could he die? How could Kurama die?"

His voice roared, echoing across Makai's forest. The leaves shook from his anger, as if nature were apologizing for the tragedy. It didn't matter, nothing mattered. The world around Hiei became so dark-where would he be if he couldn't think about Kurama? His selfishness consumed his life, but he cared about Kurama. There would be no more dreams, no more nightmares. Agony from being apart from his ex mate would no longer trickle down his spines. Kurama would not only be apart, but be out of reach forever.

Hiei's body ached. His vision clouded. His heart withered. "Fuck, Kurama," he moaned, stumbling towards the closet tree. He clutched the bark, digging his fingernails into the wood. Splinters penetrated his fingers, piercing his skin. The wound was nothing compared to his new torment.

He loved the fox, and every part of him hoped Kurama knew.

"Hiei," Kuwabara appeared next to him. Yusuke was slumped against a tree, fiddling with a crisp leaf between his fingertips. He was too quiet after his outburst. "He was mostly human. I know he's endured a lot, but-he'd lost so much blood in such a short time. There was nothing Yusuke or the paramedics could do. Just don't blame Yusuke."

"I wasn't blaming Yusuke, you baka," Hiei snarled. "I'm going to kill whoever pulled that goddamn trigger."

"The police have been investigating, but so far the tracks are dry. I'm sorry, Hiei. No one knows who did it," Kuwabara placed a comforting hand on Hiei's shoulder, which he immediately regretted.

Hiei glared at the hand and yanked it, pushing Kuwabara with all his force. He nearly fell, balancing his lanky body the last second. Hiei snarled, flashing his fangs at the man. He wanted to lash out, carve Kuwabara's heart from his chest, but that wouldn't do anything. Hiei couldn't _doanything_.

He really was hopeless.

"I will find him," Hiei shook. "And I will tear his fucking world apart."

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**I hope you enjoyed it!**


	3. Keiko's Realization

**Hi! Sorry it's been so long. This is a short chapter from Keiko's POV. I've decided to change the story into first person. Yes, this chapters short, but there's more to come soon. Enjoy!**

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**_Where am I going? _

_I have been floating through the worlds for what feels like an eternity and I still can't find a place to settle my legs. I wish I could call them weary, but they aren't even tangible. If this is only what death is, I don't want it anymore. I want to be with my friends, get drunk with Yusuke, go to work and maybe, even if it's only one more time, kiss Hiei. His soft, warm lips. _

_A ghost who yearns for life. How cliché. _

_Please, God, whoever you are, give me back the body I once inhabited. Please don't make me watch my own funeral. Please stop the tears--theirs and mine. I no longer want to be this _thing_._

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We're holding Kurama's funeral at our house because--well, I don't know why. I've been doing everything; getting flowers, getting a casket, inviting everyone I can. And all Yusuke does, day in and day out, is drink straight vodka. I know he's upset, but I can't even breathe because of the amount of work I've been doing.

It's been five days since Kurama died. Five long days. Yusuke and Kuwabara went to Makai to pick up Hiei, leaving their poor wives here to do everything else. Although I guess I wouldn't want to be the one to fetch Hiei. After all, he's a bit frightening and I can't imagine what he's like angry.

"Keiko?" someone calls my name from the front door. My heart skips a beat.

"Yusuke," I gasp as I run to the room, about to jump into his arms. But it seems he's already cradling a new bottle. A drunk Kuwabara stands next to him, slouched and hollow. They can't even take care of themselves. Babies. Don't get me wrong, I have sympathy and I'll miss Kurama too, but they need to clean themselves up. I'm already taking care of the funeral arrangements, Kurama's grieving mother, and all the questions I keep getting, why do I have to take care of them.

"Hiei will be here momentarily," Yusuke's words are barely cohesive as he stumbles into the house. "He's jus--what's he doing, Kuwabara?"

"If only I knew," Kuwabara mumbles. The two stagger inside and wander to the couch. Yusuke swings his feet onto the cushions.

That's it. I can't take it any more. All he ever does is take advantage and I ask him not to do one thing (ask him repeatedly), and he continues to do it.

"Get your goddamn feet off the goddamn couch," I hiss.

"Get your goddamn panties out of a goddamn bunch," Yusuke retaliates.

Maturity. It's not something people learn or get with age, I don't care what anyone says. Some people are born with it, and some aren't. And Yusuke has _never _been mature for his age. All I wanted since I was a little girl is some strong, muscled guy to sweep me off my feet and wake me up every morning by telling me how beautiful I was. Is that too much to ask?

Instead, I'm stuck with this dope and his goddamn drinking problem. I want to scream at him, say 'so what if your friend died, it was bound to happen some time', but I purse my lips because I _am_ mature.

So instead, I tell the oaf to get out of my house.

"Wh-what?" his voice leaks with pain, but I ignore it. It's the final straw, I'm done with his bullshit.

"You hear me," I breathe, trying to calm myself down. "Get out of my house and come back when you sober up."

Yusuke stands up and stumbles towards me. I take a step back, avoiding any contact with him. He falls flat on his face, sobbing into the wooden floor.

"Keiko!" he moans.

"Get out," I growl.

"Keikoo!"

"Leave."

"Keikoooooo!"

His fingers wrap around my ankle and he drags himself until his cheek is against my knee. He heaves, blubbering words I can't quite understand. They sound like apologies--words I've heard a million times. His sorrys and his tears won't win me back this time. As I said, I'm done. He's pathetic and pitiful and unappreciative for all the work I've done for him and his friends to help _them_ grieve Kurama's funer--

My heart jolts. I ignore the sudden pain, trying to escape from Yusuke's terrible grip as he cries more into my knee. Kuwabara snores on the couch as my heart continues to flutter in my chest. It's wings are knives, cutting into me. The pain is overwhelming, but I fight back the tears, just as I fight back pathetic Yusuke. I shout at him to let go, but he just apologizes again.

"I'm done with you!" I yell. He cries.

"I don't want you in my house anymore!" I demand. He wails.

"I'm not doing this stupid funeral anymore for your friend!" I promise. He's silent.

"Yu-yusuke?"

The pitiful Spirit Detective, the man who I once thought was the love of my life, gazes up at me. His brown eyes are swollen and red from the intoxication and tears. He breathes softly, not the breath of a drunk. Finally, his fingers loosen their grip and my legs are free. I take a step back, surprised that he doesn't lunge for me.

"_My_ friend?" he whimpers, pushing himself off the floor. He sways until his hand catches the couch and he balances himself out. His body becomes erect, his aura sparks a life I hadn't seen in days. Maybe even years. "What about _your_ friend? Sure, maybe you didn't hang out with us every weekend bu-but he was _your_ friend. Kurama was _everyone's _friend. I don't even understand ho-how you cou-could say that?"

His eyes well up with tears. I'm drawn to my poor lover as he takes a step towards me. I let my foot mimic his. He was right. Kurama is--I mean was--my friend. And a great one at that. He listened to everything I had to say and helped me cook whenever he came over. He always had this affect over Yusuke, too, and seemed to guide him in the right direction. Kurama was everything Yusuke wasn't, and everything Yusuke needed. They were best friends, and I, too, was in that equation. Because Kurama was one of my…

My heart jolts again. I grab it and sink to the floor, staring intently at the wood. My tears aren't listening as I demand them to stop flowing. My body isn't reacting how I want it to. If I didn't know myself any better, I'd think I was having a break down.

"It-it's okay to cry," Yusuke whispers. How'd he get on his hands and knees in front of me?

"I cry a lot. And I'm beginning to think the alcohol isn't helping."

I kiss my love. His lips are moist with his tears, like mine are moist with my tears. He wraps his arms around me and pulls my body close to his. He reeks of booze, but I don't mind. The pain aches my body, and I want nothing more than to be with him. He is my relief, and his relief is that goddamn bottle.

I wish I were his.

I love Yusuke. And I loved Kurama. He really knew how to keep everyone together and…well, I can't bear to watch Yusuke fall apart anymore. I'm wilting with him, falling into this black hole of grief. Keeping myself busy will no longer cork it, and our pain will grow. It's going to hurt, but Yusuke needs me. I will be strong for us, even when I'm breaking down.

I grip his shirt between my fingers and kiss his wet cheek. I let him know I will always be here and he nods.

He knows.


	4. Koenma's Duty

_Whoever said that all you're problems are solved and all your questions are answered was a liar. There is nothing after death. Maybe if I'd followed that ferry girl--but I'm not ready yet. There's still something in Ningenkai for me. I don't know what it is, yet, but I can sense it. And if I _could_ get all the answers, like everyone had lied to me about, I would be satisfied. But I have unfinished business._

_Koenma would know. But he wouldn't let me go once he sees me. I need freedom, I need to find what--or who--is calling my name._

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"His funeral is tomorrow and you still haven't found his goddamn soul!" I screech, hoping it didn't come out as a squeal.

Sure, I miss Kurama. Of course I miss Kurama. Okay, maybe that's a lie. I'm much too busy to miss _anything_ and I really wish Yusuke would get back to work because his case load, which also happens to be _my_ case load is piling up. How the hell is he supposed to catch bad guys when he's getting inebriated every five minutes?

"Koenma-san, we've been searching, but Kurama doesn't want to be found," Botan sighs, searching through her spirit guide notebook. "I can't find anything about him in here. It's like he just--disappears. What are we supposed to tell them? That Kurama is happy and well?"

I scoff. Botan is so naïve. "No, we tell them we can't find his soul. Why would we lie? That just causes more trouble and it's one more thing on my plate. Where is m--GEORGE, WHERE ARE MY FILES ON THE ROBBERIES IN THE WESTERNLANDS OF MAKAI?"

George runs in, stumbling over his own two feet. He's such a giant oaf, and he really doesn't deserve such a nice, strong body is he's going to be so ungraceful. I'm stuck as a child for eternity, but he's lucky enough to be full grown. Yet he stumbles over himself all the time.

"I'm sorry, Koenma-san. I took them to see if they could help pick up clues next door," George drops the papers on my desk. The wind pushes aside all the rest of my papers, causing them to fly off the desk. I can feel my face turning red.

No one ever gives me a break. I do everything for everyone and I'm still stuck behind this stupid desk, sucking on my stupid pacifier, looking for a stupid ex-detective of mine who doesn't want to be found. This isn't even my job! I'm just supposed to fill out paper work and tell all souls who come to me to relax, shut up, and enjoy death.

Like father always says, no is my favorite word.

"Oh Koenma-san!" George gasps, frantically picking up the papers around me. "Forgive me, please."

I can already feel my emotions going over the edge. I can't take it anymore. There's too much pressure. "Stop touching everything!" I shriek.

George, Botan and the few other people in my room all stare at me. I guess I got what I was asking for--their attention. I try to calm myself down as I speak, but I can feel my vocal chords shaking. "Everyone, leave my room in a single file, and don't utter another word. Except you, Botan. I need to speak with you."

And just like that, Botan and I are alone. She leans too comfortably against the wall. I treat my ferry too well. We stare intently at each other, waiting for the other to speak. I didn't even know what I had to say, or why I was keeping her there. Maybe just for company. After all, Botan always radiates positive energy.

"What are we going to do?" she finally asks.

"I don't know," I shake my head, glancing at the burglary case file on my desk. "There's nothing we can really do except tell that that Kurama's lost, hope that Yusuke gets off his ass, and move on."

Botan stares at me, her pink eyes wide in mourning. She's a fairly young ferry girl, only a few decades old, which is why (I'm assuming) she can stay so upbeat. After a while, all the death haunts the girls and they leave. Botan hasn't seen too much death--not enough, at least, to not let Kurama's death affect her. Sure, Kurama was a great guy and a good detective, but I'd gone through hundreds of spirit detectives and experienced thousands of deaths of people I liked, and even loved.

I know--I didn't know I could love either.

"They'll be heart broken." She tells me something I don't already know.

"Yes," I nod, trying to keep my patience. "But they'll be okay. And it's not like they're any better right now. Everyone's in heavy grieving, including you."

I gaze at Botan up and down. She's quite pretty, with her blue hair and pink eyes. But so naïve…

"I know, Koenma-san," she nods softly.

Her lips pout as if she expects something--comfort maybe? I stare blankly at her. No one turns to me for comfort. I'm the King's little son who gets laughed at. Why must she insist pouting her lip at me? Maybe I'm just that pathetic.

She sighs, her voice echoes through my room and fills my ears. "Koenma-san, have you found anything out about Kurama's murderer?"

"No," I lie.

Of course I have. I know everything. I know his face, his voice, his name, his motive, his hatred for Kurama. But telling Botan would mean everyone else would know. It is not her place, or mine, to assist with the vengeance their planning--especially Hiei. But Hiei knows he can't kill another human, or else. Even if it is for vengeance. I'm not going to give him the opportunity to mess up his now clean reputation. And Yusuke, if he were to kill Kurama's murderer, that would be man killing man--the ultimate sin.

No, Botan can't find out through me; no one can. They must figure it out themselves and, unfortunately I know they will. Hiei will have his revenge, Yusuke will help, and I will have to take drastic measures against two beings I've actually grown fond of.

But not too fond, of course. I can't have that. There's much too much on my plate…

"Hiei has been trying to find out, but the crime scene had no evidence except the bullets. The murders scent is no where. And his name isn't even in my death log. Koenma-san, Hiei's a wreck and I'm afraid of what he's going to do."

"Don't worry about him," I promise. Hiei won't do anything too reckless, at least until he finds out who the murderer is.

Suddenly, my phone rings. I stare at it, wide eyed. In all the years I've worked at this desk, my phone has never rang without my secretary bustling in with a name on a paper asking if it was okay for her to transfer to phone call. I usually said no.

My fingers shake as I reach for the receiver. I can't explain the chills in my spine. Its eerie how the noise echoed across the silent room. Botan watches from afar, taking a step back. I wish I can join her, but after a hesitant breath, I reluctantly pick up the receiver.

"What? Who is it?" I smirk to myself. Just because it happened to be a creepy moment, doesn't mean I have to be nice or act scared. Because I'm not scared at all--okay maybe a bit.

"Ko----ma?" The static's absurd. I can barley understand the other person.

"Yes, who is this?"

"K---ma."

"Yes, you're speaking to Koenma." I'm no longer scared, just frustrated. The first time my phone rings by itself and it's a prank call. "Listen whatever you have to say, call someone else. I can not deal with--"

"No," the voice is much clearer. Much more familiar. "Koe--ma. It's---rama".

Kurama? It can't be.

"Kurama? Hello? I can barley understand you!" my voice cracks as I can feel excitement building from the bottom of my spine. Botan immediately perks up when she hears Kurama's name, now listening intently. "Where are you? We've been looking everywhere for you. Your friends want to know your safe, I want to know your safe!"

"I'm safe."

"Where are you? And how the hell are you calling me? Where are you that your calling? Hello? Kurama? Are you there?" There's silence on the other side.

"Kurama?"

"Yes. I'm here."

"Where's here?"

He doesn't answer. What is this stupid demon thinking? First, he gets himself killed, then he refuses my ferry girl, and now he's calling me from god knows where, god knows how, and he refuses to tell me what the hell is going on. I know I'm knowledgeable--pretty much nothing is a mystery to me--but this…

"Koenma, I need a favor." He doesn't sound okay. His normally velvety voice is hoarse. It's obvious that it hurts him to speak. Every word is a strain, every syllable sounds weaker than the previous.

"As long as you promise to come here."

"No."

What? Did he just defy me? I want to yell, scream, yank his precious red hair out, but I take a deep breath. I need to know everything I can, I need to keep him on my side, for the sake of his friends. So, for once, I swallow my pride.

"What do you need?"

"I need you to tell me why I'm dead. And why I don't feel dead."

"It's simple, Kurama. It was your time. And you don't feel dead because your not _really_ dead, you're just a soul right now. Come here, I will explain everything. The stages of death are complicated and harsh on your soul if you don't have a guide. Come here and I will help you. Please, Kurama. We can't keep chasing you, especially since you don't even leave a trail."

He's silent again. I ask him if he's okay, and he replies he's fine. But he's not. I know he's not. Death can tear one's soul apart if they do not have help. And he has nothing from the sound of it. If he doesn't let me help him, I don't know what will happen to him. Wait no, I do. He'll disappear or be corrupted for eternity. And Yusuke will _not_ like that.

"Did you know?" he finally asks.

"Did I know what?" "That I was going to die?"

I suck in my breath as I reply. He doesn't answer, but his silence assures me that he understands.

"Now please come back. Something awful can happen to you, and Yusuke and the rest are already a mess. They need to know your okay, Kurama."

"I already told you I'm fine." I can hear him trying to give me a reassuring smile on the other end, hoping that I don't see through his lies. He forgets I've been doing this for years; trying to help the dead and control them so the circle of life continues to flow well.

"Please tell Hiei that I meant what I said. That I'm sorry."

He hangs up. I stare at the phone, now blasting a busy signal, wishing he'd call back. In all my life, I've never experienced something so strange, and it was over in a split second. If I apologize to Hiei for Kurama, they will all know I spoke to him. And what do I tell them then? That he's roaming free, somehow able to reach the Spirit World through some sort of ghost telephone that I've never heard of? It's preposterous.

"Is he okay? Is he coming?" Botan voice shakes.

"No," I frown up at her. The poor ferry girl starts to weep as the news hits her. Kurama was stuck somewhere, and soon he wouldn't be anywhere.

"Wh-what do we do?" she gasps.

I sigh. I don't want to be the one to break the news to her or anyone else. But, as I said, everything is always up to me. "We do nothing."

She runs out of the room, trailing her tears behind her. And for the first time all day, I am alone.

Alone to think about anything I please, to do anything I please. I smile to myself, leaning back in my chair. It fits my back so perfectly. Everything is so per--damn. Who am I kidding? My mind keeps wandering back to Kurama. For such a wise, mature demon, he has no idea what he's getting himself into. He's going to destroy his after-life and his friends' futures. He's doing whatever he's doing all by himself--talk about being alone.

I guess even in my moment of serenity, my mind won't be at ease. I glance down at the floor and notice a little piece of paper crumpled up underneath my desk. I pick it up and unwrinkle it, staring at its contents.

"Koenma, I know you're probably wondering how I did this. Maybe some day I'll explain it to you. For now, however, I need to be on my own. I must figure out this strange inkling that's expanding inside me. My soul seems to grow heavier as the moments pass, but I can't give up just yet. I will see you soon. Please don't forget to tell Hiei what I said. Thank you for everything. -Kurama".

Are these tears? Thank you…I never get any gratitude and when I finally do, he's dead. Gone forever. And he won't even let me help him. I wipe my eyes. There's too much to do, I can't sit here and cry like a baby. There's always too much to do…

But I guess someone's got to do it.


	5. Kuwabara's Insight

**It's been a while. So sorry about that! Enjoy!  
**

* * *

_It's no use. The voice just gets louder. I am crashing, burning. But the chaos—it's so peaceful compared to the nothing. He is calling me, can you hear him too? The disgusting sound of his soft, innocent voice. "What have you done?" he asks me. He whispers, his voice hissing in my ear. "What have you done?" _

_ Nothing, I answer._

_ But I know that answer is not good enough. Nothing is ever good enough. I laugh to myself. The voice, the awful voice, is comforting. It has become my only friend in this chaotic after-life. I am fading—I have faded. Only the voice can hear me, see me. It is dancing around my non-existent head. I'm disgusted._

_

* * *

_

She's bent over Kurama's body, her head buried in his cold hands. Those silky, blue locks graze against my best friends corpse. She murmurs words I cannot understand—her voice is angelic. At Kurama's funeral, she is the only thing on my mind. She becomes my distraction, throwing his death into a distant memory. Live for the now. And now, she is my everything. No, not now—always.

I'm an oaf. That's what they call me. Maybe it's my curly, orange hair, or my narrow, slit eyes. Maybe it's my diction. I have never been one to express myself correctly. My thoughts are triumphant compared to the words that come out of my mouth. I understand myself, I am not confused who I am. I may not be smart, but at least I am happy—or as happy as I can be at this moment.

And it's all because of her. Her smile, her voice, her tears; they keep me going. Maybe some day I will find the words to tell her. They are much easier to find in my mind. Everything is so secluded, so quiet. But when I speak, my voice distracts me. I sound like an oaf—just as they call me.

"Look," I heard Yusuke say to Keiko.

Look? Look at what. Yukina's fragile body hanging over Kurama's frozen one. Hiei's furrowed eyebrows and too-stiff posture. Or maybe Boton's tears. Kurama's death has brought the connection we were all secretly yearning for. To be back together was comforting. We were a family again—a grieving family.

"I can't pay for all these flowers."

Such simple words. Look—Kurama is smiling in death. Maybe not directly in front of our eyes, but he is happy. The Spirit World must be nice. I wonder how Koenma reacted to seeing him for one last time. Did Boton cry as she is now? Did Kurama cry? Questions pound at my feeble head. I'm tired—too tired. I've barely been able to sleep, but I'd be more worried if I could sleep.

Hiei is suddenly at my side. "I've been there several times." I assume he's talking about where Kurama was shot. We have all been there several times, but I don't tell him this. He doesn't want to hear me talk, when does he ever? Even I can't stand the sound of my own voice. Silence is my peace.

Yukina stands up. She places a tear gem in Kurama's hand, shivering as she wanders away. Alone, I want to be alone with her. But Hiei's feet are planted next to me. Soon, though, I'll be able to see her alone. To cup her face in my hands, to kiss her forehead, to tell her how I feel. She may reject me, but my feelings could comfort her. And if she responds, I will place my lips on hers. It will be love—love at Kurama's funeral.

"I can't find anything. Not even a trace," Hiei mutters, as if it were a secret. "And what motive would someone have to kill him?"

Jealousy. That was all I could think. Kurama, he was so perfect. He was smart, beautiful, and charming. Many loved him, and others loathed him for that. Sometimes I found myself jealous of Kurama. I shamefully admit that. And I regret it. Jealousy is powerful, and it drives people to commit heinous acts. I would not be surprised if it were someone's jealous husband or a disgruntled co-worker.

"Are you asking me?" I ask, cringing.

"Idiot, who else would I be talking to?"

I knew he was asking me, but it came with a bit of shock. To Hiei, my opinion meant nothing.

"Maybe jealousy."

"What? That's the stup—" he stopped himself. Awe enveloped his face. Surprise, Hiei. Sometimes, I do know what I'm talking about. He gazed across the room, catching Yusuke's glazed over eyes. They made a silent exchange, and Yusuke walked out the room. Hiei shortly followed, not glancing back. Maybe he'll share my jealousy theory—and maybe he'll give me credit. I would be surprised.

I glance around. Familiar faces around me are empty. Koenma stares at Kurama's open casket, calmer than usual. His calmness overcomes me. Such a beneficial feeling, quite similar to love.

"Koenma," I call to him as I make my way towards him. "Do you know who did this?"

"No," he answers blankly. His eyes never leave Kurama.

He's unreadable. I want to ask him everything, how Kurama was, if he was upset, if he said anything, but I'm afraid what he will say. Asking about Kurama's spirit means he's truly dead. I gulp, trying to pull my question together.

"Is he—did he say anything?"

"He never came."

"What?" I nearly shout. The empty faces turn to stare. New faces arrive to pay their respects, and they're all watching.

And Koenma never takes his eyes off the casket.

"The ferry girl lost him. We've been looking everywhere for him, but he doesn't want to be found."

"What do you mean he—"

He stops me, placing his hand on my wrist. He wants to talk in private, where our friends and strangers aren't staring.

Kurama, gone? Why would he not want to be found? Koenma always told us how pleasant the after-life is. He says it's a place of peace. Violence and hatred is no longer necessary. I would see Kurama's eyes glaze over in wonder—almost anticipation. A world full of love. Kurama's ultimate goal. Why would he run from it? There is nowhere else he can go.

We step outside. Hiei and Yusuke are waiting for us.

"He ran away from the ferry girl. He told her he had unfinished business. We can't find him anywhere, he's not leaving any clues. He even called me. I don't know how he managed to do it, but he called me. And I found a note. From him. A note. How the Hell did he get into my office without notice? He said he was okay, he just had something to do. He wouldn't tell me, and he refuses to come back. It's been two weeks and, well, if he waits more than a month without coming to see me, I'm afraid—"

Something catches his throat. Afraid? What's the worst that can happen if Kurama waits a month?

Almost as if he read my mind, Yusuke asks, "Afraid of what?"

"If he doesn't come back, I'm afraid Kurama will never be able to enter the Spirit World. He will be trapped forever, becoming a forgotten ghost wandering the Earth. He will be nothing more than an apparition, haunting whatever ground he choses. But he will be angry, and no longer the Kurama we knew."

"Kurama? Angry?" Yusuke almost laughs. It's always a joke to him. One moment he's passed out drunk on the floor, the next he's laughing about Kurama's passing. He can never just keep his mouth closed. Always talking, babbling. I sigh, holding back the tears welling up in my throat.

Koenma ignores Yusuke, catching Hiei's gaze. "If Kurama doesn't come soon, we will never see him again."

* * *

**By the way, I've completely forgotten what I wanted to do with the whole note/telephone call incident. If anyone has any ideas, let me know. I'm just probably going to wing it.**

**Thanks and please review!  
**


	6. Yukina's Simplicity

_How could this be happening? So many questions. More than when I was alive. The voice rarely quiets itself. I feel as if I'm slipping farther into a conscious I'm unaware of. I can't be seen, not by my friends, not by Koenma. I'm invisible, even to myself. I glance down at my hands, but they are no longer there. I wonder if my eyes are still green. My vision is fine, in fact it's heightened. I see clearly, but I know nothing. The voice is the only reminder of my life. It whispers of my memories, the names, the truths. _

_I am Kurama. _

_I am wandering the Earth, looking for something. But what?_

_For now, I watch my friends. I see my old body, what I looked like. I don't anymore. I look like the wind. If I breathe, so I become the wind? When I whisper, do the trees rustle? This is not peace, these questions are not peaceful._

_I stare at my friends. They are quiet, but their lips move. I can't hear them—they can't hear me. I shout, calling to the precious fire demon below me. He never answers. _

_What am I searching for? How could this happen?_

_

* * *

_

Kurama. Such a pretty man. He always smiled, staring down at me. He told me I was beautiful, too. Beautiful and simple. He said it was a good thing, that I would always be happy, no matter what crossed my path. But he was wrong. How could I be happy today? He is gone, and I don't know when I will be able to see him again. When he laughed, I laughed. He was always so wise, so brilliant. And I admired him. I still do, even in death. "Yukina," he would always say, "You're happiness relies on you." But I can't be happy now. I feel so alone, tossed aside by everyone else's emptiness. I am punished for what they feel. Even Kuwabara hasn't smiled at me.

"You're lovely," Kurama would promise. "Any man would be lucky to be with you."

He always told me so, but I have yet to have my first kiss. Kuwabara always glances at me, and I can't help but wonder if he loves me. He tells me he does, but he has never tried anything. Maybe he just wants to deceive me, raise my hopes only to crush them.

In a flash, I was back in the prison. That man—that awful man—wraps his hands around my precious birds and smothers it. Poor thing. He barely had time to say good-bye. I wish there were warnings before death. That way you can say good-bye.

I am left to say good-bye to a frozen Kurama. He is as cold as the gem that forms from my tears. He would chuckle if he saw me crying, not a harsh laugh, but a comforting one. He would say it was okay to cry, then tell me he cries too. Sadness is a simple emotion, nice and easy. I like simplicity. Kurama would laugh at that, too.

Here I go, crying again. Kurama's pretty green eyes are closed, and I can't help but wonder if I'll ever see them again. I must. Such a strong friendship musn't be built just to be torn down, right? The past few years, we've gotten so close, too. So why would we grow so close just to never see each other again? Our creator, whoever he may be, isn't a cruel man. He wouldn't want us to suffer so. Kurama, do you think this idea is simple, too?

I'm in the corner, alone. There seems to be no connections between any of the people passing my way. Some glance at the floor, some of their eyes are full of tears. Each person is alone. Even my friends, my close friends, seem to be avoiding each other. They've become strangers to one another. I wish I could bring them together, like Kurama would be able to. He'd smile, catching Hiei's eyes. They'd stare at each other, becoming silently intimate. In an instant, I would see something glisten in Hiei's eyes. Love, maybe. That's what Kurama brought; love. Wherever he went, it followed. So why would a person want to smother that?

Is that what Kurama meant when he said human's were complex? That they would want to destroy love? I know evil, I've seen it's face. But forgiveness is the only option in such awful situations. Why would I clutch onto anger, when I can just forgive? I wish I could explain that to fiery Hiei. He was always so angry. Maybe one day I will tell him. Maybe I'll have the same effect on him that Kurama had on me.

Maybe I will become a sort of sister to him.

Kuwabara screams, "what?" For one minute, he creates a connection around the sad room. Those lonely faces suddenly exchange glances. There is a spark of hope. I wait in silence for someone to smile, or someone to make eye contact. But Kuwabara's face just turns bright red as Koenma touches his arm. They leave the room, breaking the connection that finally burned through the crowds of people.

I never knew how many people loved Kurama. His work friends, us, school friends, people he's helped. The line was practically around the block for people to pay their respects to Kurama. His mother sat close to his cool body, her old eyes staring intently at her son. She looks as if she expects him to wake up. I wish he would. He would smile at the amount of people that came to see him. He always found joy in connecting people and bringing them together. He found joy in satisfying those he loved—even those he didn't.

Maybe the man who killed him wished he would help him, but he didn't. He, too, wanted to feel what Kurama made others felt, and he couldn't. So he killed the source of everyone's joy to make them as unhappy as him. How sad. Maybe he's lonely. Well, he certainly accomplished his goal. All these lonely people, passing by their frozen happiness. And I am stuck between them, watching their every move. But they don't see me.

My tear gem lies in Kurama's hand. I hope he sees it, and I hope it makes him smile. I can picture him laughing again, thanking me for such a beautiful treasure.

Kuwabara, Koenma, Hiei and Yusuke come wandering back into the room. Kuwabara's eyes are puffy—he's been crying. So have I. I wish we could cry together. It would ease the loneliness that envelopes me. Hiei and I make eye contact, but he immediately glances back down at the floor. He always seems to avoid me. Maybe I'm not as lovely as Kurama says. Hiei is so interesting, so strong. Yes, he is my perfect opposite. Yet, I'm still fascinated by him.

Oh! Kuwabara is walking towards me! He has that determined look planted across his face. He's always so serious, even when he's being silly. He's so passionate about everything he does. I don't understand why people laugh at him. He's really quite smart, many people just don't give him the time of day. His long legs almost leap across the room. He doesn't take his eyes off me. I wonder if he thinks I'm lovely.

"Yukina," he chokes. "Kurama doesn't want Koenma to find him. His soul has disappeared. According to Koenma, if Kurama doesn't go to the Spirit World in two weeks, his soul will be trapped on Earth forever. We will never be able to see him again."

"What can we do?" I can feel tears pouring out of my eyes. Kuwabara wipes them off my cheek, catching the gems on his palm.

"I don't think there's anything we can do. He's covering up his spirit energy, so there's no way to track him down that way. It seems what Koenma said may be Kurama's fate. Unless he changes his mind."

I practically gasp for air. I try desperately to cling onto that last piece of hope that I'll see Kurama again, but I can't find hope in Kuwabara's eyes. And Kuwabara never gives up. But he's defeated. And so, I am too. I rest my head on his strong chest, listening intently to his heartbeat.

Why Kurama? Don't you want to see us again? Don't you want to have one of our long discussions again? We should be able to laugh how silly crying was. But, to not be able to see him again would be tragic. The last few years meant nothing, then. All I have are his memories and his lessons. But what if I forget? What if I forget him!

"Kurama," I whisper, wondering if he hears me.

I become a lonely person, wandering in the cold darkness, waiting for a light.

Kuwabara wraps his arms around me. He smells like a maple tree. So sweet, so comforting. He pulls me closer. I never want to leave. Maybe, in Kuwabara's arms, I will never be lonely. When he smiles at me, he'll remind me of Kurama's lessons and Kurama's joy. He can be my warmth, and he will wipe my tears when I'm sad. Maybe he will even be my first kiss. Kurama would call him lucky.

But he has no luck. If he kisses me, it won't be from luck. It would be because of his perseverance and his strength. If we kiss, it will be because I have loved him all along. Have I? I know Kurama would know the answer. He would tell me it was simple, and I just had to feel it. So, I close my eyes and feel it.

When I open my eyes, I only see Kuwabara's strong, pointed features and his kind eyes. I want to tell him how I feel. I wish he could read my mind. My eyes hold his, or better yet his hold mine. He can be my strength when I falter. He lets go of me, but takes my hand. He silently leads me away from the line of people, the tears, the suffering, lonely faces, Kurama's corpse, and takes me outside. The cool air nips at my nose, a familiar feeling that I welcome.

"Yukina," he murmurs. He doesn't need to say anything else.

He bends down and places his lips against mine. They're so warm, compared to the cold surrounding us. He heats my lips. His arms envelope me. I feel as though I am shrinking. The sorrow of Kurama's death sneaks away. For this one, simple moment, only Kuwabara and I matter. It's lovely—kissing him. My first kiss, and hopefully my last first kiss. If he loves me, as he's always said he did, I love him too. We could spend our lives together, our hands in each other's. Maybe we will get married, and maybe I will give birth to little orange-haired children.

This one kiss is the only hope I have. Even if I never see Kurama again, I will always have Kuwabara.

And he's the only thing this simple girl wants.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed it. Stick around, the oh-so-exciting Yusuke is next!**


	7. Yusuke's Ramble

**I read over Hiei's chapter, and I completely hate it. He's not totally OOC, but he's so dark and I barely captured that. So I'm going to add another Hiei chapter later on to (hopefully) make up for it. **

**

* * *

**_Something keeps piercing my skin. It digs inside my veins, wrapping itself around my bones. Then it pulls. It tears my skin, ripping me to pieces. What is this? Physical pain doesn't exist after death: that's what I've always been told. Yet, it continues to tear me and mold me back together. As soon as my wounds have healed, it punctures through my stomach, my arms, my neck, my legs, and yanks my body apart. Pieces of flesh fall in front of me, dancing in the wind until they disappear. Then I am whole again. I glance down at my invisible body. How can something that doesn't exist be in pain?_

_An unfamiliar anger bubbles inside me. It's been three weeks since I was shot. At least that's how many sunsets I've counted. I've passed over deserts, jungles and fields. The sun's long fingers have touched each of them. However, the sunset's beauty no longer comforts me. I have seen so much more in my death than life, but who can I tell? There is no one I can share the intimate scenery with. I am completely alone. _

_I can go back, find Koenma, live eternally in the Spirit World, but I haven't done whatever it is I needed to do. Why can't I remember? I need a reminder. But I can barely think while my body keeps ripping apart and mending back together again. I don't think I'm the person I was when I was breathing. I remember—yes. I was much more composed, and I knew exactly what I was doing. Every step I took was well thought out. I was completely in control. But now, I'm floating over some large body of water, falling apart. I have lost control of everything. The only control I have is trying to remember what it is I need to do. _

_Please, someone, anyone, if you can hear me, help me. Stop this torture so I can finally breathe again. Let me live again._

_

* * *

_One more week and Kurama is gone forever. I've already left several holes in my walls. I've become desperate. All I do is think about Kurama. Keiko has had to force feed me the past week, but I can barely eat. I couldn't save him. And I can't save him now. I wish I could knock some sense into that head of his! I take a swig from the bottle of Jack Daniels perched on my lap. It has become my only comfort. Screw what I promised Keiko. She doesn't understand. She's too busy washing the dishes and being a regular _housewife_ to notice my suffering.

He was dying in my arms and I couldn't do anything…

"Keiko!" I gurgle. She doesn't respond. I call her name repeatedly. Finally, she peaks her head out of the hallway.

"What is it?" She's disgusted at the sight, I can see it in her eyes. I've done nothing but disappoint her our entire life. Yet, she marries me. Maybe I'm not the crazy one. I throw the bottle back, chugging as much as I can before I choke. I wipe my mouth, burping. Keiko wrinkles her nose. Why did she marry me?

"Keiko, get me a beer," I beg. The way she eyes me is ridiculous. I can't help but giggle. She really is crazy! She married a drunk and I married a lunatic. Such an interesting combination; we should go on a game show. Maybe we'd even get our own sitcom. Yes, I can see it now! The Urameshi Show. Staring Yusuke and Keiko Urameshi. Of course, my name would go first because I am a man.

"Make it yourself," she snaps.

I wonder what Kurama would think if he saw me now. Maybe he'd laugh. He wouldn't pity me—he couldn't pity me. Friends don't _pity_ each other, they laugh with each other. No, he'd be just as drunk as me. His cheeks would be flushed and his hair would be a bit disheveled. Well, as disheveled as it could get. Good old Kurama, always taking such good care of his appearance. Good old Kurama.

I swallowed the lump building in my throat. I'm sick of crying. I'm sick of missing for Kurama. But I can't help it. It's all my fault…

"I'm going to the store. Do you want anything?"

"I'm almost out of my best friend, Jack." Good old Jack. Good old Kurama. Hah! Everyone is so old. I'm not too old. Although I'm old enough to be married. Maybe have children? Keiko would love having a child. But what if he turns out like me? After all, I became my mother's son.

Oh mommy! You and I have so much in common! Remember that time I died and you drank yourself into oblivion? You were so drunk, even I felt sorry for you. And you know before that we barely got along. Yusuke, clean up the house! Do it yourself, you old bat.

Good old mom. Good old _dead_ mom. Good old _dead_ Kurama!

I'm sobbing. How did this happen? I'm leaning over my knees, heaving in pain. I can hear Kurama reminding me it will all be okay. He puts his arm around me, assuring me that I will feel better soon. Yeah, maybe if we find you. But Kurama, we can't find you, where did you run off to? Why would you leave us? Is it because I killed you? I tried so hard to save you, Kurama, I tried so hard. Why can't you just come back? Answer me.

Answer me!

Now, somehow, I'm on my feet. I'm gripping the back of my chair. I should let go before I break it. Keiko would be so mad. But I can't. My anger pulsates through my fingertips. In a crack, the chair is destroyed. It feels good to destroy. I wish I could crush the skull of the person who shot Kurama. I would spit in his eye and crack his neck. Hah! It would be so pleasant.

Yusuke, I know you. You wouldn't be able to do that. It's not in your nature.

Shut up, Kurama, you're dead. You no longer have a say in what I do and how I feel! In fact, you ran away from Koenma. Why should I listen to you?

It will be okay.

No, it won't.

I forgive you.

Typical Kurama—forgiving someone for such a heinous act. If I can't forgive myself, how can he? Stupid Kurama, he probably forgave the man who shot him. He's not one to give way to his emotions. He knows exactly what he wants, when he wants it. He can manipulate any situation to his benefit, yet he always keeps his eyes open for others.

Listen to me! Speaking in present! Good old dead Kurama.

He's dead. And I can't even avenge him.

Koenma knows who killed Kurama, I know he knows. He knows _everything_, how could he not know something so obvious. He knows who was in that alley, waiting for the perfect opportunity to pull the trigger and take down the defenseless Kurama. Stupid Kurama. Serves him right for being all venerable and open. Maybe he deserved it. It taught him a lesson!

I nearly yank my hair out. Now I know why Keiko is so disgusted by me. I could kill myself. I'm just a nasty drunk. Kurama didn't deserve anything horrible. He wanted nothing but happiness for those around him.

I begin to hum a melody to myself. A tune that I'd catch Kurama singing under his breath. He had such a sweet voice…

"I'm back," Kieko walks through the front door. When did she leave? How much time passed? She stops in her tracks, dropping the groceries in her hand. Great. What did I do now?

"Yusuke Urameshi!" she shrieks. "What did you do to my chair?"

Oh, yeah, that.

"Why do you torture me?"

I don't mean to.

"You hate yourself so much—"

But I love you.

"So you have to torture me too?"

You're so beautiful, Keiko.

"Well?"

Yes, my love?

"Do you have anything to say for yourself?"

Let me make love to you again. We'll remind each other why we got married. I'll give you anything you want. I'll stop drinking. I'll give you a baby—fifty babies! Just don't look at me with such hatred anymore. Tell me you love me again.

"I love you," I manage to proclaim.

"Pitiful," she hisses. "I'm sick of your behavior."

"I know," I mumble, crossing the room towards her. I wonder if I'm stumbling. It doesn't matter. I just want to touch her, get to the woman I love. Forget all the regret. I can remember my best friend in my other best friend's arms. We'll comfort each other. But until then, Mr. Daniels is patting my back, telling me I'm doing a good job.

"Stop looking at with those pitiful eyes."

"Mrs. Urameshi," I cry out, finally able to wrap my arms around her.

I nuzzle my nose into her shoulder, taking a deep breath. She smelt like pork chops and garlic. So scrumptious. I bet she tastes good, too. I pull her closer into my body. Her hip grazes my pants. It feels good—so good. I want more, but I somehow manage to stop myself. Or maybe it's her stopping me.

"Don't you love me anymore?" I grumble.

"I—".

Why won't she answer me? She doesn't love me anymore! My Keiko, my lover, doesn't want me anymore! She pushes me away and stares up at me. There are tears in her eyes. I try to wipe them, but I miss. I press my forehead against hers. I want love. I want her love. I want to forget the pain, forget Kurama. I want to do it without good old Jack.

"I'll stop drinking," I promise.

"I don't believe you," she retaliates, pushing me off.

"I'll do anything, Keiko! Please!"

"Yusuke," she breathes. I lean close, trying to smell her again. "The only reason I have any sort of patience for your childish behavior is because of Kurama. I know he was your best friend, and I can't begin to understand what you're going through, but I can't go on like this for much longer. I'm not your baby sitter; I'm your wife. And I want to be loved. And I…_I _want to be taken care of. You don't take care of me anymore, Yusuke!"

But I love her. How can I not take care of her if I love her? I cradle her hands in mine. "I love you, Keiko. And I will take care of you. I will always be here for you. Just as you have always been here for me. From this moment on, I will only pay attention to you!"

She eyes me skeptically. But I think she believes me—I hope she believes me. Do I even believe myself?

"I do love you, Yusuke," she finally answers. I kiss her passionately. I don't need anything except Keiko's love. As long as I can take care of Keiko, maybe, just _maybe_ I'll be able to make up for the horrific—

Oh Kurama. Good old Kurama. Please come home. I want to tell you how sorry I am.

"I have to make dinner," Keiko kisses me softly and begins to walk away.

I grab her hand. Before she makes dinner, I want to be with her. I will make love to my beautiful Keiko again.


	8. Their Thoughts

**This is a short chapter, but it's all starting to come together. In fact, there are only two or three chapters left after this. Enjoy and review!**

* * *

_Of course, even in death, I still manage to bring everyone closer together. Keiko and Yusuke—Kuwabara and Yukina. There's a plethora of love going around, but none for me. Do they even remember my name? I'm here, suffering, and they are too busy wrapped in each other to remember me. In life, I did everything for them. And what gratitude do I get? Three weeks after I'm dead, they've all moved on. I leave Urameshi's window. They are disgusting. The voice is no longer taunting me, but I miss it. Now I'm left to be torn apart and put back together, piece by piece. How could they forget me after all that I've done for them? I loved them all, I helped them all. Yukina doesn't even cry anymore. She's too busy ogling Kuwabara to remember I'm dead. I can't go back now, not after what I've seen. I never want to see any of their disgusting faces ever again._

_ I've given up on trying to remember what I wanted to do. What was the point anymore? I'm alone, and I will be until the end of eternity—if it even has an end. It will be worse than Hell. But at least I'll never have to deal with _them_ again. The pathetic, nasty living. Hiei is barely in pain, too. Hiei, the man I once loved. How could I ever love someone so cruel? He lies in trees now, staring up at the sky as if he has something to hope for. His death will be like his life; painful and pointless. I can't wait until he dies so I can laugh in his face. Laugh in his—_

_ There's a song. What a beautiful song._

_

* * *

_"Where could he be?" Yusuke whines. His body's thinner—his cheeks' hollow. Somehow, he lost the spark that made Yusuke so unique. He sits in front of Hiei and Kuwabara, hunched over. His regrets and anguish are weighing him down. As soon as Kuwabara saw him, Kuwabara immediately noticed Yusuke's fingers were trembling.

"We have three days to figure it out," Kuwabara murmurs. Hiei glances back and fourth. He immediately notices the empty chair next to Yusuke, where he imagines Kurama perching so perfectly on it.

There was a reason Kurama didn't want to be found. Embarrassment, maybe, that something so foolish had killed him. Hiei would be, too. Letting his guard down, just for a little fun, was an idiotic move. But, Hiei would rather see Kurama again. Kurama was never a fool, though. And he wouldn't be ashamed for a failed moment. Maybe he is trying to discover a part of himself, or something. That sounds more like Kurama; always trying to be perfect. Hiei scoffs at this idea.

"Maybe he wants us to avenge him," Yusuke notes.

No, Kuwabara thinks to himself. Kurama isn't the type to want revenge. He was always so peaceful. He wouldn't want blood shed because of him. If he really wanted that, he would've said so. But he just told Koenma that he was "fine". Yes—fine. If that's what you call being dead. Yukina suddenly passes through Kuwabara's mind. He lets himself daze off, dreaming about her smile. It isn't nearly as painful as Kurama's memory.

"Maybe he never wants to see your ugly face again," Yusuke chuckles towards Hiei.

Well, that was the wrong thing to say. Yusuke immediately regrets his remark. Hiei glares at the Spirit Detective, his crimson eyes pulsing with hatred. Hiei was never one to take a joke—why would that change after Kurama died? Yusuke rolls his eyes at the fire demon, ignoring him. He didn't matter at this point. All that matters is figuring out where Kurama is hiding and why.

"So, what if we avenge him?" Kuwabara asks. "Kurama would probably feel guilty if his murderer died because of him."

"I wouldn't," Hiei hisses.

"We all know what you would do," Kuwabara chuckles. "Such an angry dwarf!"

Hiei barely notices as Yusuke and Kuwabara cackle together for the first time in weeks. They practically roll around on the floor as Hiei stands up. He grips the tabletop, his eyes tightly shut. The two stop laughing when his expression catches their eyes.

"I want to find who killed Kurama," Hiei growls. "And I want him dead."

"Then lets sit down and think," Yusuke dusts himself off, pulling himself back to his normal, confident posture. It's amazing what a good laugh can do.

"As I said before," Kuwabara clears his throat. "Maybe it was someone who was jealous of Kurama. But who, or why, could be jealous enough of Kurama to kill him? I was thinking maybe there was a girl Kurama was with whose boyfriend was jealous? Or someone else who loved her was jealous?"

"That's not possible," Hiei corrects him, not taking his eyes off the table. Kurama had never been with a woman. In fact, Hiei was the only demon or human that Kurama had touched intimately—at least that he'd consented to. "Is it possible that Karasu had something to do with it?"

"That would make sense," Yusuke shrugs. "But Karasu is dead. And he has been for a while. Plus, why would he chose such an unconventional way of killing Kurama? I think he would at least take his time. He wasn't a "shoot and run" kind of guy."

"Did Kurama mention anyone he worked with?" Kuwabara continues. "I know he recently got that promotion. Maybe someone else wanted it?"

"A sort of disgruntled employee thing?" Yusuke snorts. The idea seems almost preposterous to the Spirit Detective. How could anyone kill Kurama over something so small? Poor Kurama. Suddenly, something struke Yusuke.

"Of course! Kurama said he had to fire an employee. He didn't want to, but it was a necessary part of his job. I think we should go talk to him. We can hand him over to the police, or even Koenma. We'll have to ask Koenma first, though."

"What's his name?" Hiei asks.

"I don't remember. No, no wait! His name was Albert. Albert Poltzcreit. He moved to Japan a few years ago because of a promotion, but Kurama said he got really lazy and they couldn't afford to keep him any longer. Kurama felt bad about it, of course, but he had to do what was best for the company. Do you really thi—"

Before Yusuke can finish, Hiei disappears. The two remaining men immediately jump up. They knew exactly what Hiei was about to do, and they had to stop him. He couldn't—he wouldn't do something so stupid. But, it is Hiei, Yusuke reminds himself. Hiei will stop at nothing to let his anger out.


	9. Hiei's Humanity

_I hear a song. A sweet, low melody. A song I once knew. I recognize the notes, ones I used to be able to play on the piano so well. My fingers used to dance across the keys, and everyone around me would smile. I was happy. Yes, happy. Why do I feel so bitter? There is so much anger and hatred brewing inside. No more, I just want to forgive. I will not let my death be ruled by a feeling that never mattered in my life. The song is growing louder. The woman's voice is so sweet. I have no choice, I must follow the voice. It's so calming, so nurturing. It's exactly what I need to hear. It soothes the pain, and my anger has subsided. Finally, I think I fully remember who I was. _

_ They are looking for me, my friends. They want me to come back before I am chained to this Earth forever. But how can I go back while this song is so intoxicating? It's seducing me, luring me to its origin. I have to know whose heavenly voice was singing to me. As I make my way towards the singing woman, I ponder why I was so furious. Maybe it was the invisible force tearing up my invisible body. Maybe it was the obscure loneliness. I was never mad in life. My own anger terrifies me. I will make sure not to let that happen again. _

_ Her sweet voice gets louder. I need to find her, to sit and listen to her for eternity. What did it matter if I was stuck on Earth forever if I could listen to her sing? As I listen, I'm back with Hiei in Makai. We are curled against a tree, his head resting in my lap. I was the only one who he'd ever allow to take care of him. He revealed his venerable side, opening every inch of himself to me. I learned more about Hiei than I knew about myself. I could make him laugh. I fell in love with the Forbidden Child—no, I'm still in love with him. And I would do anything to be with him again._

_ Yes—I remember what I want now. I want to live again. I want to be with my precious Hiei and tell him I'm sorry. _

_ But her voice is so beautiful, I can not leave._

_I peak into her window. A young woman with brown hair and green eyes is rocking in a chair, her hands placed on her stomach. Her face was just as beautiful as her voice. Yes, I think I could exist here. I will stay just a bit longer._

_

* * *

_It was too easy to get Albert Poltzcreit's information. What a pathetic name; Albert. I wonder if he's a twig, barely existing where he stands. How could a human, a pitiful human named Albert, kill the famous fox thief? Kurama was a fool to let such a repulsive thing happen. Kurama was a feared demon throughout the three worlds. Even I would tremble at the thought of battleing the fox.

_"Look how bright the sun is today, my love."_

Hn. Even thinking Albert's name repulses me. I shudder as I leap between buildings, searching for his street. Foolish humans. They make killing them too easy. There will be no challenge. I will go through his window and slit his throat. I will have the pleasure of standing over him, watching him die. Too easy.

_"I wish you would smile more."_

There it was. His apartment, towering over the buildings surrounding it. Maybe I can toss his body out the window. No—I don't want to just throw his life away. I want him to suffer. I want to hear him beg, whining over and over how _sorry _he is. Humans whine so much. The stupid oaf is a perfect example. He's always displeased with something. And this puny, nasty Albert will be no different. He will cry. But I will show him no mercy. There is no reason for him to be on this Earth. He destroyed something beautiful. And tonight, I will destroy him.

_"Don't cup your hands so tight. You'll crush its wings. They're delicate. See? That way you can appreciate it without hurting it. Isn't it beautiful? There aren't creatures like this in Makai. In Makai, you have to search for beauty even remotely similar to this. Stay with me, Hiei."_

There's his apartment. My body's tingling with rage. Soon, he will be all mine. I will do with him what I please. Maybe if I'm lucky, he will pray. And I will show him, in his last moments, there is no God. There will be only him and me. I lick my lips and hop onto the windowsill. His apartment is black, but I can see. I pry open the window and crawl into what I assume is his kitchen. It's hard to tell. The floor is covered with nasty rags, food and clothes. I wrinkle my nose. Humans are such pigs. This one is the worst. He deserves to be slaughtered.

_"Will you ever tell Yukina? Yes—I understand. Don't worry, you should do what you think is right."_

He's sleeping. And snoring. His mouth is wide open. I can stuff a sock in there and chop him to pieces and no one would ever hear. What would my punishment be? An eternity in Hell? My entire life has been a living Hell. Why should my after-life be any different? What did that ridiculous religious legend say? "Blessed are the mourners, for they shall be comforted". How can people believe that? I am almost a century old, and where is my comfort? If I were to spare this human and walk away, I may find myself in the Spirit World. But Kurama—he wouldn't be there. For in three days...

_"It's going to be alright. Just take a deep breath, and we'll go for a walk."_

He's so puny, just as I suspected. Even his breathing is shallow. My stomach wrenches at the idea of him aiming the gun at Kurama, trying to keep him aim steady. His hands probably shook violently as he pulled the trigger. My fists clench. This pitiful _human_ took away one of the only things in this world I felt more than anger towards. Yes—there's anger. But, more strongly, regret. Such a weak emotion; regret. I'm almost as pitiful as tiny Albert snoring next to me.

"Wake up," I snarl, keeping my eyes locked on him.

_"Do you believe in one mate for eternity?"_

"Wha—" his eyes snap open, and immediately he curls into the corner of his bed. Coward. "Who are you? What are you doing here?"

Tears, already? I shouldn't be surprised.

I grab his arm and fling him across the room. His fragile body cracks on the wall, and now all he is, is a shaking heap on the floor. He manages to spurt out a 'Why?' as he coughs up what I smell is blood. I can barely see. Anger is churning inside my brain. It wants to control me, and I succumb to it. It has become my only comfort.

"Do you know who Shuichi Minamino is?"

"Ye-yes," I'm almost surprised he's able to answer, but I stand perfectly still. Nothing a human can do can truly shock me. "Bu—but wh—why? Who ar—are you?"

Such a struggle for him to talk. I can put the thing out of its misery. Maybe I should snap his neck. But, he has created such grief. And for that, he will suffer.

"Pl-please." The begging. I was waiting for this.

"I—I worked with him." I know, I want to snarl. I want to pick him up by his hair, dig my fingers into his eyeballs, and watch him squirm and cry in agony as he bleeds. I can bite off each finger. I jump to him, landing square on his stomach. He gasps, and he's sent into a coughing frenzy.

"Wh—why?" he blubbers. Disgusting, pitiful mess.

"Why did you kill Shuichi Minamino?"

He's silent. Tears gush from his eyes. His eyes grow large. The truth is obvious. He's so stupid, admitting his crime without even speaking. No wonder humans hate each other. I stand up and pull him up by his collar. I drag him out from his room and into his living room. It's cluttered with all his human trash. I throw him on the couch and stand over him. What should I do next? What does my heart desire?

_"Hiei—my beautiful Hiei. Will you forgive me?"_

My insides lurch. What is this feeling? My heart is shrinking in my chest. I can't feel it. But my pulse is getting heavier. My eyes sting. My lips are quivering. How can this be? My entire body is trembling. I feel as if I am falling, down, down, down. And all I can see is his face—my fox's face. His bright green eyes, and his protective smile. His laugh, his promises, they begin hitting me. They wound me. Stop, I demand. But my body doesn't listen. What's happening to me?

"Please don't kill me. I'm sorry," the human whispers. His voice is shaking. "I—I was so angry. I have a family to take care of. An—and I loved my job. I regret it, though. I regret it. And I'm sorry! Please, please don't kill me. I will do anything, please. I'll turn myself in right now. Just don't kill me. Please…let me repent. I can't forgive myself. I wa—want to fix what I've done. And maybe, when my time comes, I can apologize to Shuichi face-to-face. Maybe he will forgive me. But please, don't let my time be now. For the love of God, I'm begging you."

I can't listen to his pitiful pleas anymore. My body is retaliating against me, and there's nothing I can do. It's as if—it doesn't want me to kill this man. But what is one more dead human? They die constantly, that's what I've been told. What does it matter if he dies now? He will die, anyway, just as he said.

"Daddy?" My neck snaps towards a little human girl standing at the door way. Before she can scream, my hand is around her mouth.

"Do-don't scream, baby girl. Daddy's going to be okay. Go back to sleep."

A human child—such innocent creatures.

_"When I was a boy, everything was much easier."_

"Don't hurt her," the human begs. The girl whimpers in my clutch. My grip is too tight. I can feel blood pouring from her lips. I let go, giving her a soft shove away from my body. She stumbles forward and runs to the human. My body prevents me from following. But why?

"Baby girl, please go back to bed," he whispers.

"No daddy, I don't want anything bad to happen to you. I love you."

Love? How could she love a cold-blooded killer? The pitiful human who killed Kurama—my Kurama. My strong, serious, brave Kurama, who just wanted peace. This "innocent" child shouldn't love someone who destroyed such a powerful, perfect being. Yet—Kurama loved me. Even before we teamed up with Urameshi. He loved _me_.

_"Will you forgive me?"_

Suddenly, I'm on my hands and knees, panting. The two humans cower on the couch together, and I am completely alone. I was alone my entire life until Kurama came along. And, two years ago, I was alone again. These pitiful humans with their disgusting emotions have connections that I have only had once. They will have each other until they die, and I had one. And my one is now gone forever. No amount of blood-shed will bring him back.

_We had been fighting all day. We were both exhausted, too tired to argue anymore. Our relationship was faltering. I wanted to fix it, but I never learned how. Kurama was the only thing good in my life, but I couldn't make him happy anymore. He yearned to be home in Ningenkai, living the human life he only recently started dreaming of. When he was a demon, death and destruction were the only things on his mind. But being born to a human woman, experiencing Ningenkai from a child's eyes, softened him. He developed foolish human emotions, but it drew me to him. Before, he was just another fierce demon. But…when he became human, I wanted to be with him. Maybe I developed a foolish feeling, too._

_ "We can't keep this up," Kurama sighed. "I'm sorry Hiei. I want nothing more than to be happy with you, but I'm not. Your stubbornness is preventing me having what I desire."_

_ "Selfish fox," I growled. "I am happy with you, but all you do is dream about Ningenkai. You've showed me everything you know, but Makai is _my_ home. I am not a human, and I do not want a human life. You are not a human either."_

_ "But Hiei," he whispered. "I am. I am a human. I may partly be a demon, and Makai will always have a place in my heart, but I belong in Ningenkai."_

_ "You are a human," I snapped. "No demon would have such foolish desires. No demon would want what is not theirs. You're pathetic."_

_ I hurt him. He turned away from me, but I could hear him crying. I wrapped myself around him. A part of me yearned to apologize and give into his stupid demands, just so I could be with him. But just as he didn't belong in Makai, I didn't belong in Ningenkai._

_ "I'm going back," he finally announced, straightening himself out. He faced me again; his face too composed. His large, green eyes became slits. A tear tolled down his cheek. "I'm sorry. Hiei—my beautiful Hiei. Will you ever forgive me?"_

_ And with that, he disappeared from his life. He left me alone, all because I couldn't give him what he desired. And that was his fault. Forgive him? How could I ever forgive him for leaving me? He succumbed to his pointless human emotions, and left me alone. I decided I would only look at him again if he came crawling back on his hands and knees._

The first time I saw him in two years was in his casket. Lying cold and dead. He was no longer apologizing, and he was no longer telling me he loved me. He was there, an empty shell—just as he left me. When I was alone with him, I had fallen to my knees and placed my ear on his chest. No heart beat. No warmth. Frozen in time. We would never fight side by side again. We would never laugh, and never embrace. At that moment, in front of his dead body, I wanted to switch places.

I stand up, trying my best to take a hold of my body. My knees felt weak, but I towered over the two humans curled up on the couch. Their lives were in my hands. I could break their backs. But—Kurama wouldn't want that. Kurama would place his hand on my shoulder and ask if I wanted to go for a walk. That was always his excuse to get me alone, so he could help me relax. Sometimes, he would kiss me. We rarely kissed—it was too much affection. But, when we did, my fingers would clutch his arm. And when I yanked my face away from his, he would linger for a moment, desiring me. Now I wish I gave him what he wished.

"Tomorrow, you will go to the police. You will tell them exactly what you did to Shuichi. You will kiss your daughter, and silently thank me for allowing you to live. I will be watching you, so obey me. And you will live each day for Shuichi. You will go to his grave when you are allowed, and you will go every day after that. My mercy is a lesson that Shuichi taught me. And you will learn it, too."

With that, I was gone. I will never contact him again, for I know he will go tomorrow and confess everything. This confrontation changed him. I know it did because humans are too easy to read. His ideas of repentance will be brought to life. Since I spared him, the outcome might be more beneficial. I may have not eased my anger, but that intense shrinking I felt…I believe if I killed him, that never would've gone away.

_"My name is Shuichi Minamino," the teenager chimed, beaming up at me._

_ "Hn." I barely noticed him. I had a mission to uphold; to find Youko Kurama. The idea of such a powerful demon becoming a human fascinated me. I had to see him with my own eyes. Before I could disappear and continue my search, the boy grabbed my elbow. I threw him against the wall, my throat around his neck. "Don't touch me."_

_ "You haven't changed," he grinned. "Still the same, cold Hiei. Don't you recognize me?"_

_ My hand dropped, letting go of the boy. Could it be? This red-head, teenage human was the infamous fox thief? This boy couldn't be the demon I was looking for. He was so puny, so—human. He shyly smiled at me, his eyes glistening. I held his gaze. My heart raced, and I suddenly forgot why I came. The demon I wanted was standing in front of me, but all I could think about was—it was confusing. I found myself drawn to this new Youko._

_ "Kurama," I breathed. _

_ "Good to see you, again, Hiei. What can I do for you?"_

_ "I've been searching for you for a while."_

_ He ran his fingers through his hair. I couldn't help but notice how perfectly his red hair framed his face. His pointed chin bobbed as he chuckled. "What is it, Hiei? Tired of being alone?"_

_ "Hn." But yes, that's exactly what it was._

I forgive you, Kurama.

* * *

**The next chapter is the last chapter, but until then, I hope you enjoyed this one!  
**


	10. The Untitled

"How is no one ready yet?" Yusuke growls, swinging his six year old child onto his back. The little girl giggls, tugging at her father's ears. Keiko walks into their living room, with their twelve year old daughter dragging her feet behind them. It's a picture-perfect family moment. A happy mother and father, and their two beautiful daughters, all waiting to go to Kuwabara's 50th birthday party.

Keiko kisses her husbands cheek. "I think everyone's ready to go."

Where was I during this? My friends, they have aged so much. Kuwabara is too quiet for his own good, and Yusuke hadn't touched a drink in eighteen years. Yes, so long ago. Time passes too quickly. All I could do was wait patiently, for the perfect opportunity to reveal myself. Until then, I could only dream about them—about Hiei.

Hiei. He's in Makai, while the rest are celebrating Kuwabara's birtday. But I'm sure he secretly wishes he were there. He had always yearned for a connection. But, he was fated to live a lonely life. A nomadic demon, I guess would be the best phrase. He stopped living with Mukuro. He couldn't stand lying to her anymore. Loneliness didn't sound so bad compared to pretending. Hiei has always been much simpler than he let off to be—much like his sister. They both have one mentality that they stuck to. Of course, they are complete opposites. They are magnets; Hiei is negative, Yukina is positive. Maybe this is the reason Hiei still has yet to admit the truth to Yukina. One day, though, he'll tell her. It may be long after Kuwabara has passed, and Yukina is left alone, but he will tell her. Together, they will find peace.

My peace never came so easily. Death was not the fairy tale Koenma made it out to be. No truth was revealed, no questions were answered. It was me and the world passing by. All I could in that month was watch. But, when that month was over, I was bound to the Earth again. I wouldn't prefer anything else, though. Ningenkai is where I belong, after all. And I think, if I repeated that to Hiei now, he would understand. He may even let me kiss him. After all, when he spared Albert, he tried to work on his anger. His cynicism never changed, but he was able to control his fury. Thankfully, he's still the same Hiei I knew twenty years ago.

"Happy birthday, Kuwabara! Happy birthday to you!"

I should have been at that party. I should've patted Kuwabara on the back, laughing if he accidently knocked a glass over. I should've picked up one of their seven children and kissed their foreheads, telling them how pretty their dresses were. Yukina would smile at me—her sweet, simple smile. But, no. I wasn't there. I should have been.

None of them have changed much. Kuwabara, even at the old age of 50, is still goofy, passionate and loud. Yusuke is just the same—I don't think he could ever change. His determination flickers in his eyes, but something new lingers there, too; his love for his wife. After hurting her for so many years, he finally dedicated himself entirely to their relationship. Seven years into their marriage, Yusuke became the husband Keiko always wanted. Sometimes, she'd even pray and thank me. Me—of all people. What did I do?

As for Hiei, he visited my grave whenever he was in Ningenkai. He would get on his knees and tell me he missed me. It broke my heart to hear it—it still does. But, he doesn't do it anymore. He doesn't _need_ to do it anymore. His emptiness is being replaced with love.

So, where was I during all this? Well—I will leave it a mystery for you to figure out. All I will tell you is I was nowhere near Kuwabara's party. In fact, my chains to Ningenkai had finally been broken. I am sitting in a tree in Makai, watching over my sleeping fire demon. He sleeps so peacefully when he wants to. His torture is his own fault. And, when he is sick of the pain, he is able to smile. A small grin, of course, but it's there. And when it appears, I can't help but laugh. Such a beautiful creature. His connection to the world and his friends is much stronger than he realizes. They adore him, but it upsets him watching them grow old. He refuses to see Kuwabara celebrating 50 years, marking his life half-over. All he wants is to keep the connections.

I yearn to kiss Hiei—I always do.

* * *

**Quick thing-I can't decide whether I want to end it here, or after the next passage. Let me know what you think, thanks!**

* * *

A year prior, a seventeen-year-old boy walked through LaGuardia Airport in New York. His mother, with some resistance, finally allowed him to attend college in Japan. The two had a strong bond, and the boy felt awful leaving his adored mother. She said, though, that he should explore the world beyond New York City. He should learn other cultures and adapt to the vastness of the universe. She was always encouraging exploration, even though the idea of losing him made her shudder. He would miss his darling mother, especially her voice. It was what really connected them in the first place.

"Good-bye, mom," young Landon kissed his mother's cheek. "I'll see you soon. And I promise I'll call you as soon as I land."

Landon's mother beamed at her son. He was always so smart, so responsible. She knew he would be okay, no matter what. He would always take care of himself, just as he took care of his younger siblings. They would miss him terribly, too. He gave each of them a kiss. They called his name as he walked away. Landon turned and smiled one last time at his family before he disappeared at security check.

'Japan,' he thought to himself as he boarded his plane. 'Good—I think I'm a bit sick of New York.'

Several hours later, Landon stepped out of the airport. His bright brown eyes glistened in the sun. Where to next? A taxicab, then his new school? No—that's not what he wanted to do. He waited so long to finally come to Japan, why should he wait any longer? He pulled out his phone and did a quick search. The address he needed popped up. Yes—that's exactly what he wanted.

Urameshi's doorbell rang. Yusuke leapt up, turning the volume of the television down. "Who is it?" he asked as he was opening the door. The queer sight of the stranger at his doorstep made him raise his eyebrow. He assumed it was his eldest daughter's friend, but he looked a bit too old to know such a young girl.

"Can I help you?" he cocked his head.

"Tell me," the boy said, bowing his head to make eye contact with Yusuke. "Do you believe in resurrection?"

"Excuse me?"

"Yusuke," the boy smirked. "Don't you recognize me?"

In an instant, his chestnut eyes flashed an emerald green.

* * *

**Well, that's it. I still had absolutely no idea what to do with the telephone/note situation, so that's part of the mystery, I guess.**

**I hope you liked it! I sure had fun finishing it. And I'm definitely glad I did.  
**


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